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July 18, 2002
Eight Legged Freaks is EXACTLY What It Sounds Like.
Thursday, July 18, 2002
So the previews roll. There was an ad for a new Stephen King movie, Dreamcatcher. Among my friends, it is not considered poor form to talk (even loudly) during previews. Your mileage may vary. At any rate, I observed to my pals that Mr. King hasn't written a good book in about 20 years. (A couple conspicuous exceptions are The Eyes of the Dragon and Misery. Green Mile was pretty good too.) This movie looked absolutely horrible. No idea what the foozle (bad guy/force/entity) was. Just a bunch of people looking scared. At one point, this guy was emoting open-mouthed horror to the camera for what seemed like fifteen minutes. I mean, I was counting the dude's molars and checking for tonsillitis. It was dumb, and did not want me to watch the movie. So I stage-whisper, pretending to be our on-screen friend: "How did I get in this horrible movie?" Well, the people in front of us heard me too, and laughed heartily. Life is good when you're me.
So we're watching the movie. And it's just what we want. Spider farmer feeds biohazard-infected crickets to pet spiders. Spiders escape. Havoc ensues. Spiders grow to improbable size. More havoc ensues. Humans make series of catastrophically stupid decisions to combat new arachnid threat. Havoc ensues. You get the picture. In other words, you're TOTALLY rooting for the spiders. At one point, this fellow with long hair and a long beard shows up on screen. Simultaneously, no less than five people from our two naughty rows of film-goers scream "JESUS CHRIST!" and giggle uncontrollably. More havoc. Repeat ad nauseam.
So, anyhow, if you have seen a commercial for the movie, you already know if you want to see it or not. Just be glad you didn't have to watch it with us.
Posted by Lee at July 18, 2002 01:32 AM
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