Lee's Blog: Rotten Tomatoes is wrong.

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August 16, 2004

Rotten Tomatoes is wrong.

Last night, the lady and I went to see Alien vs. Predator. Now, when you sit down in a movie theater to watch this, you sign up for a couple things.

1) There will be people dying. Badly.
2) You need to suspend your disbelief. Do not take things seriously.
3) One measure of goodness is how wrong you are about who's going to die.

This is a horror film. It's an action movie. Get some popcorn and enjoy yourself. This is not, repeat NOT, supposed to be a Serious Film.

So what's up with all the hatin' at Rotten Tomatoes? Usually a pretty good read on whether a movie is going to be awful or not, RT just PANNED AvP. What did they think was going to happen? You've got aliens. You've got predators. You've got some very unfortunate humans. Hijinks ensue.

Looking back, several of director Paul W. S. Anderson's other films that I really enjoyed also got zero lovin' at RT. Guess those reviewers just can't appreciate a good cheez-fest. Resident Evil and the first Mortal Kombat movie were just way a lot of fun. Sure, they were based on video games, but you know what? I had a good time watching them.

OK, Event Horizon didn't really work, and Soldier was freakin' awful, but hey...the man's still batting better than .500 with me. That's good, right?

What, you don't buy the back story? You're worried about continuity with the other films? Here's a hint. GET OVER IT. Your butt is in the seat because you want to see two great movie monsters Fight to the Death, a lot of times.

One thing I did find amusing was the number of flashlights in the movie. Every character...EVERY CHARACTER, seemed to have two or three flashlights on their person, plus one on their weapon (if they were smart enough to actually read the script before venturing into this hellhole, and came strapped with the biggest gun they could find). I mean, if the problem could have been solved with flashlights, this human party would have WON.

But, fortunately, the aliens and predators both seemed to appreciate the flashlights only as "Come eat me!" markers. As it should be.

One funny line...the Tough Ice Guide Chick says to the Tough Short Haired Mercenary Chick "I've never seen a gun save somebody's life out there..." Well, you're right. Going into this situation, you need way more bullets than you can carry...but at least you can go out swinging.

Heck, if I could find an IMI Desert Eagle that carries 30 rounds in the magazine, I'd probably carry one too. (Hint: the .50 only has seven rounds. Use them wisely.)

Gun geekery aside, the movie was just fun. Had some ridiculous bits. Had some scary bits. Had some "Wow, cool! Aliens and Predators!" bits. Had some "Boy, humans are DUMB!" bits. Pretty much just what the doctor ordered.

Not as good as Aliens. Not as good as Predator. Easily better than any of the four other movies in these two series. Three out of seven ain't bad....

Posted by Lee at August 16, 2004 12:38 AM

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